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How Talk to / Deal with people? |
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Wednesday, February 04 2009 |
Q: How do I talk to people?
 A: Your question is vague. If you meant what our speech and talks should contain:
"The heart of fools is in their mouth: but the mouth of the wise is in their heart." (Wisdom of Sirach 21:26)
There are many references in the Bible that deal with interacting with others. Wisdom of Sirach, a deuterocanonical book, specifically mentions speech numerous times. Among the many things mentioned about speech, we are warned not to speak excessively and without reason; not to say something simply for the sake of saying something. Our speech is to be genuine and filled with the love of God. What we say to others should be from our hearts, not merely from our lips. On the other hand, If you meant "How to Deal With People?". H.H. Pope Shenouda III wrote in one of his articles:
" There are many ways which enable you to succeed in dealing
with people and winning their hearts. By that, you can lead them,
through love, to spirituality, as the Bible says: "And he that wins
souls is wise." (Prov. 11:30)
1. In your own life, present the ideal that people are longing for.
2. Do not seek what people have, and they will love you. Do not make
others feel that you are their rival who wants to take what they
possess or what they are trying to obtain.
3. Endure others' weaknesses and win them by your patience, forgiveness
and an open-heart. They will surely regret what they have done to you
when they sit by themselves.
4. Praise others and make them aware of your appreciation. Make them feel that you know their good deeds and admire them.
5. Respect others and treat everyone politely, not only the elders or
those you are obliged to regard, but also the young and those who are
younger and lower in grade than you.
6. Work for building people, not destroying them.
7. Do not repeatedly rebuke people, and if you have to do it, try not
to hurt or mistrust anyone. Do not pick on them for a word or action
and avoid making them feel that you stand out as a critic or an enemy
to them.
8. Find excuses for others and try your best to defend them in a rightful way, not through hypocrisy.
9. Be always ready to give and sacrifice and whoever you can't help,
offer him a nice word, a smile, or a real compliment. Be up to your
duties to all without failing.
10. Treat people with modesty and humility, delicacy and gentleness.
Gentleness is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit as the Apostles say
in Gal 5:22, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace,
patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness... "
11. Understand people and help them to understand you, quietly and with
a good spirit. By doing this, you will be able to live with them in
mutual understanding, love and peace.
12. Share in people's joys and sorrows, "Rejoice with those who rejoice
and weep with those who weep. " (Rom. 12:15) Do not miss a chance to
comfort people's hearts. "
May God help all of us in dealing with each others. Amen
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