I have depression and its ruining my life...what should i do to get out of depression? Is there a way to get rid of it because i read on the internet that people who have it for so long and i dont want to be those type of people because maybe they dont have God in their lives....I need help to get out....please give me solutions to be out of depression

We are very sorry to hear that you are going through this, and we are praying that God may comfort you and relieve your heart from any pain.

The first thing we want to say is, please don’t carry this burden alone. Please pour your sufferings and your feelings to God in prayer, remembering His words “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). You may feel that He is far away or you may feel dry, or unable to say a word of prayer. Even if you don’t know what to say, go to your room or to church when it’s quiet, make the sign of the cross, close your eyes, and stand there in front of God and He will hear all that you mean to say. Second, please talk to someone. It’s important that you find someone who you can trust, and someone who will be sensitive to what you are going through, and won’t take it lightly. So pray and God will guide you. But please, talk to someone about your feelings; your parents, a brother or sister, a priest or servant in church, or a friend that you trust. Surround yourself with your friends and your family, and try not to isolate yourself or be alone too much. But don’t carry this burden alone because that makes it harder. And we would be happy to recommend someone for you to talk to, so feel free to contact us if you would like that.

Now let’s talk about these feelings you’re having. Feelings of depression can have many causes, with different solutions for each. This is also why it will help you very much to talk to someone, and together try to arrive at the cause of these feelings. For example, some of us go through depression because of factors in our environment. These factors trigger our sadness, and our feelings are significantly related to these situational factors. These factors may be temporary, or in some cases almost permanent. Sometimes, these feelings of sadness are caused by loneliness. Also, they may be caused by a certain sin or because of a life far from God. Sometimes the feelings are symptoms of a clinical depression, and you may not know why you are having these feelings at all, but they just won’t go away.

Regardless of what the cause of depression is, God knows EXACTLY what you are feeling and what you are going through, better than anyone else. In fact, He even knows the reasons and the causes better than you do. So seek the answers from Him. Seek the comfort from Him. As St. Paul says, “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness…” (Galatians 5:22). He also says, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him” (Romans 15:13). And David the Prophet says, “Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why are you disturbed within me? Hope in God” (Psalms 43:5) and “No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame” (Psalms 25:3). So like we said before, struggle with God in prayer, even if it’s hard for you to pray and you don’t feel the desire. Have strong hope that no matter what is causing you to be depressed, God can help and can comfort you. Pick up the Bible and start reading regularly. It will strengthen your hope and your faith and you will find comfort there too. So put yourself in God’s hands by placing yourself in the realm of His grace at every opportunity; through prayer, Bible readings, Divine Liturgy and the sacraments, spiritual meetings, online sermons or hymns, etc...

What if depression is caused by a particular sin or a life far from God? There is a difference between Godly sorrow and depression. One is constructive, the other is destructive. There is a Godly sorrow that leads to repentance where we feel sad because of our sins, and our distance from God causes us to feel anxious and desire to return to Him. Then, there is worldly sorrow which is like depression, characterized by despair, which is very dangerous because it’s missing hope. Like St. Paul said, “For Godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death” (2 Corinthians 7:10). Perhaps the best Biblical example of these two feelings is the contrast between St. Peter and Judas Iscariot. St. Peter denied Jesus, and “wept bitterly”, but repented and our Lord forgave him. Judas also regretted his sin, having betrayed Jesus, but he was missing hope.

So if you’re feeling overwhelmed because of a sin or because of living far from God, and you feel that destructive type of sorrow like despair or depression, then recognize God doesn’t want you to suffer like this. He knows you have sinned, but He wants you back! Like we pray in the Agpeya, “Christ our God, the good, the long suffering, the abundant in mercy, and the great in compassion, who loves the righteous and has mercy on the sinners of whom I am the first; who does not wish the death of the sinner but rather that he returns and lives, who calls all to salvation for the promise of the blessings to come.” And if you have this hope, your despair will be transformed into Godly sorrow leading to repentance.

And no matter how you have sinned, if you confess and return to God, He is waiting to accept you and forgive you. Like the psalmist says, “He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor punished us according to our iniquities. For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. As a father pities his children, so the LORD pities those who fear Him. For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust” (Psalms 103:10 – 14).

Our Lord Himself spoke through Isaiah the Prophet, “‘Come now, and let us reason together’ says the LORD, ‘though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be as wool.’” (Isaiah 1:18). He says, “For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone … repent and live!” (Ezekiel 18:32) and “I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance” (Luke 15:7). So, as St. Peter spoke to the men is Israel, “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord” (Acts 3:19).

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). Our Lord instituted the Sacrament of Repentance and Confession, taught us the example of the prodigal son, and gave grace to the priesthood to absolve and forgive sins saying, “If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them” (John 20:23), so that we can have hope no matter what, as long as we repent and confess. But we must make every attempt possible to leave our sins, so that our repentance is sincere and true. And even if we continue to rise and fall from the same sins, we should not lose hope or feel despair, but we should continue struggling to repent, like Micah the Prophet said, “Do not rejoice over me, my enemy; When I fall, I will arise; When I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me” (Micah 7:8), because even “a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again” (Proverbs 24:16).

After we repent, God may still allow us to experience this Godly sorrow for a certain period of time, because it has many benefits. It will only motivate us to repent more sincerely, to pray more, and to make up for the times we strayed from God. It keeps us away from sin, remembering how bitter sin makes us feel. And the Holy Spirit will grant us comfort during those times of repentance, so that we can feel assured that our sins have been forgiven and feel peace that we are on the right track. Also, practice doing any acts of mercy that you’re capable of doing, through donations or serving the poor or the sick. These acts of mercy will bring God’s mercy upon you. Train yourself to forgive others. Knowing that it’s possible to have a weakness leading to sin, feel compassion for others who sin because they are struggling too. Pray for them, as you pray for yourself. And do not judge, but be understanding of what they are going through, and “if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you” (Matthew 6:14).

So if you are feeling depressed because of your sins, the most important thing is to turn this depression into repentance. And the key is to have hope, and throw yourself in God’s hands and allow him to heal you. Ask God to make you feel His love, to give you hope, and help you repent. Place yourself in the arms of the church, in the arms of the priests and the sacrament of Confession, in Communion, in service and charitable deeds and acts of mercy, in spiritual meetings, Bible readings, and spiritual books. Try reading “Return to God” by H.H. Pope Shenouda or “The Return of the Prodigal Son: A Story of Homecoming” by Henri J. M. Nouwen.

May God grant you comfort and hope. Please stay in touch and let us know how you are feeling.