How do you know if the person you are courting is the right
one for you? What are some red flags? I am getting to know someone for marriage
and we seem to fight a lot, mostly because he has a temper and is mistrusting.
Yet there is love between us and I know he has a good heart. I don\'t know
whether i should continue to marriage or stop it here since we fight. I am in
my early 30s and don't want to waste any more time.
Marriage is a scared relationship that lasts a life time;
one should be very careful entering into such a commitment. There are many
things that you can do to have a better sense if you are going in the right
direction with this relationship.The
most important one is prayer, although this might not be the answer you are
looking for, it is definitely the most effective. God is very pleased when we
ask him for wisdom and He knows more than any other person if this is the right
person for you or not. You have to trust that God will show you His will if you
persistently and honestly seek it.Second, seek the counsel of others around you whom you trust: your
father of confession, your parents, faithful friends who truly care about
you... These are all people who love you, know you best and should be able to
give you good advice. Third, there are some basic things that you need to think
about. You should carefully examine your
fiancé's spiritual life,is he one of
those Christians by name, those people go to church, fast, pray...but all on
the outside? How close is his relationship with Christ? Remember that only
through loving God and fearing him, we can truly love others.
Fighting is not a
major issue, many couples fight a lot during their engagement. It is part of
getting to know each other.The issue is
the reasons why you fight and how you fight. If this person has a bad temper
and mistrusting, this behavior may only get worse after marriage. It is true
that people can change, but the older we are, the harder it is to change and it
would require a greater deal of effort and willingness to do so.If the temper is accompanied by abusive
behavior verbal or physical, then, run and don't turn back, this is non-negotiable,
get out while you can.On the other
hand, if it is just moderate temper and you can handle it, you have to remember
that no one is perfect and we all have flaws and weaknesses so the main
question becomes, are you willing to accept those flaws and live with them till
death do you part? Only you can answer this question.
I will pray for you; and may God give you wisdom and show
you His will in your life.